The Ghost I Am

The Ghost I Am

Down the road
Where no one goes
I know you’ll wait for me
But I know, I won’t come
your eyes are soaked in blood
I cannot turn away

What am I to fight for
When I have nothing to gain
What am I dying for
I was never alive
I am the ghost
That no one knows
You became the darkness
That drowns my soul

I am the only judge
The sentence is my death
My dreams are empty
All I see is your shattered face
The laughter died forever
Silence will prevail

And I fall with you
Every night we die
And I wonder what you saw
When I left you behind to fall
There are voices inside my head
That cannot be silenced


Screaming out my senses – is this me dying?
All I’m having disappears – what fore am I fighting?

Still you decide about the life that I live – I am a fool
A plaything, waiting for you punching again – I’m not for free
Nothing can excuse – I know your game
Uprising has begun now

Close your eyes for one moment, we can still believe
One deep breath, get your focus – with the gun at your head
You don’t own me, you don’t fool me, I am burying your bound
This war is mine
When you’re bringing me pain

Absence of clarity is clouding your eyes. you can’t deny
That the truth you are fighting, and I am trying to forgive

– oh god, these lies
I will not listen, you …

The war – is on now
And she – decides
The whore- has spoken
And I’m – alive


You fell for your own darkness
Silence was all you had left
The path you followed is lost
And all the flowers wilted long ago
The wind will never sing again
To me your name is lost

I am death and life
The black mask will fall to shards and scars
And all that’s left of you
Is the face in the mirror

You broke all your promises
But you could not leave me behind
As long as I ran I was
The shadow waiting
Never to let go
The mirror has gone so stale
You have become my ghost

My Friend

Once again, hello my dear friend
Have you come to see me bleeding, again
Your thirst for blood seems unquenchable
Are the sources still not deep enough for you
Are the sources still not deep enough for you?
Thought you could help me out of here
But all you do is using me

This blood is running just for you
Still you’re not satisfied
Selfishly you take more and more of me
But still you are my most true friend
In the darkness, where my home is
You show no mercy for me
I will not fight for myself
you know what is good for me

Even though the others say
you’re not good for me
I will stay here with you
You’ve never betrayed me
You know who I really am
And every time you’re there, I feel free
So incredibly free

I thought I’d love to die beside you
I’ve lied so many times for you
But losing my fear of you
I’ve gone too far…so much to far

Blood on my hand – can’t remember why
With you my friend – I can’t see the sky
Rest in peace – my innocence
A smile on my face – but I cannot pretend

Lost Battle

And this path will never end
As long as your voice lingers
– inside my head
This is the perfect storm
As I crash against your ice
And drown in your soul – so cold

And the bottle will drown – your sorrow
And the knife will ease – my pain
Dreams that mock – me night by night
My shivering hand holds – your picture

Your scent still lingers in my room
And my world breaks down
As the walls fall upon me
And your thorns pierce my throat

Another battle is lost for me
The bitter stun of defeat
Throws me to my knees again
Bitter cries that paralyse my brain

And this time I can’t find a reason
To pick up the remains and start again
Death has lost its sting
And I laugh into thy face
As I bleed
As I break
As I fall
As I close my eyes

Face Me Down

I am the cancer of my life
Cut me out to heal my blood
Toss my demons into the void
Bring the sun to darken my face
Let me leave this earth in peace
Don’t hate me for what I’ve done

Bless me as I am bleeding
Heal me as I am leaving
All behind that I have ever been in my life
Far away from anything
To believe in
In my heart there sticks a knife

The sickness inside me is marching
The ache is controlling me
lost before the first blood’s drawn
The final frontier fell long ago
My hand reaches out in vain
My fingers are broken

And you will hate me for what I’ve done

Let me die, heal the cancer in me
Burry me alive, hide my shame

What I’ve Become

You spend your days in light
While I rot in shadows
And you drift apart from me
Have you forgotten that
I love you, how did you
Grow so ashamed of me
Where have we lost it

You’re reigning down on me
Give me all your lies I’ll believe them
Your voice inside my head
Being myself became something scarring me
You came into my life overthrowing me
And turned my life into wasteland’s elegy
You took so much of me
This is what I’ve become

The sun downs your days
As I drown the night
I’ll hunt you in my dreams
The horror will gush through
Your eyes, your red rimmed eyes
They will watch me die
The plague of your night

Drown my thoughts deep in the bottle
Fight for something long gone
Keep me warm with pity in your eyes
Press the fingers to my open veins
Hear the Lies that I’m better

Your face, my grace
Turned into scorn and hate
The night was young
We came undone


Do you think this is a game and you can play with me?
I don’t need you, why don’t you just get lost
Oh I forgot you are nothing without my broken eyes
I wonder what you’d do if I lose them

Free- one day I will be free
Swimming with the clouds
Free from you
One day I will close my eyes
A world of shadows right behind my doors
No limits anymore

You called yourself my owner
Didn’t pay any price
My right, my gift to welcome you
But all or nothing is how you deal
your possession is what you see in me

Oh no please go away
I ‘m not that special
So please take another one
No, please leave me be
I’m not that special
Just stop calling my name


You feel alone
you haven ‘t met yourself
and you wish upon a star
That everything goes by
endless and bleak, are your nights

Drunk you tell me I am scum
But beg me to stay
you cling on me, tell me why?
Then you tell me I should leave
Everything is through
You are the one who’ll stay alone

Tell me I’m lying!
The wrong one was I
But you’re the one who’s blind
And you scarred me deep inside
Tell me I’m lying!
Do you care? Do you dare?

You have gone astray
everything went by
You are the fool – I don’t care
When you tell me what to be
Telling me that you have me blinded
I don’t care

I know it’ll be too late
Finally I know myself
Facing the game of blame
At least I will know myself
 -In the end-

You Are The Light

Tears you are fighting
As the night is bleeding
Your dreams are frightening
it’s the fear you’re feeding
The rope is tightening
It’s your mind I’m reading
You are so tired of fighting

A violent winter in me
I’m fighting a war I cannot win
I’m fighting for nobody
The enemy is within me
No one will remember who I was
And I will die alone

You looked so tired
You’ve been running for so long
The violence in your heart
Did tear him apart
Cold faced you did let him fall
In his blood he did crawl

The doubt tore the love apart
The grave was cold the night was dark
The skin separated in the silver shine
The blood was gushing; this death was mine

You are the light – You are the voice
You are the light – You are darkness
You are the light – You are silence
You are the light – You are violence

Time You Waste

I can’t feel you
I can’t fear you
Now that you have left for yourself
All left to blame is my own face
Shards are all that remain
Wishing away all that I am

Time you waste wilts the grace
Lost in haze, drained ourselves
Once I settled for your hatred
We still are but all is lost now
Every night I am waiting for you to come

I have begged you
I have cursed you
Coming to a point where I don’t
Care if you care
Care if you’re there
Wasting away myself
for you nevermore

The lies we told were never true
The worst was to believe in you
At least you got me through the day

Unechoed screams that never fade
A promise that I never made
At least it kept me sane

BREATHE IN – drown me in silence
BREATHE OUT – drown me in silence
BLAME ME – drown me in silence
BREATHE ME – drown me in silence now

Scars will bleed inside my head
Scars will bleed inside my head